It may seem obvious, but I learned how important it is to ask critical questions about your reproductive health when you’re fighting infertility. And if you are feeling overwhelmed or discouraged, I encourage you to consider asking, in prayer, for wisdom and strength and your heart’s desire.

Unfortunately, many years passed on my seven-year journey to motherhood before I realized some of the questions I should have been asking, especially since I was what the medical profession calls advance maternal age (i.e., 35 and older) once I began, in earnest, trying to become pregnant. So, let me ask:

• What is the health of your uterine lining?
• Do you have uterine fibroids? If so, what type: intramural fibroids within the muscular uterine wall; submucosal fibroids that bulge into the uterine cavity; or maybe subserosal fibroids that project to the outside of the uterus.
• Have your fallopian tubes been examined to ensure there is no blockage?
• Has endometriosis been ruled out as the culprit for your fertility challenges?
• Have you considered scheduling an appointment with a reproductive endocrinology and infertility (REI) specialist, especially if you are 35 or older?

When we initially began trying to have a baby and my period continued to arrive each month like clockwork, I did not know to ask certain questions. And I was unaware of the reproductive issues I had until I was years into my journey. Be your own advocate and ask questions about your reproductive health sooner rather than later. Ignorance is not always bliss!

I also believe in the power of prayer and so I prayed while month after month, year after year I was still trying to have a baby as my maternal clock ticked past 36 years of age….37…. 38….39….40….41….42…until I became pregnant with our daughter. The Bible says:

And by faith even Sarah, who was past childbearing age, was enabled to bear

children because she considered him faithful who had made the promise

(Hebrews 11:11, NIV).

Because I felt in my heart I was meant to be a mother, I asked for wisdom and strength, refusing to accept that I just was unable to have a baby and that was that. God gave me direction at the many intersections I encountered on my road to becoming a mother. For example, He reminded me of a conversation I had with a friend years earlier about a reproductive endocrinologist she had seen. He put me in touch with another friend who had seen the same specialist when she was trying to get pregnant. Ultimately, after attending a seminar this doctor held, I became one of his patients and he was able to identify two reproductive issues that affected my fertility, requiring surgery. It is true what the Bible reminds us:

If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you (James 1:5, NIV).

You can also ask for strength when the fight for your fertility leaves you emotionally and physically drained:

He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak (Isaiah 40:29, NIV).  

Stay encouraged! When you are desperate to have a baby, you must be willing to ask questions, read, research, and ask again. And in all your asking, know that there is power in prayer: I prayed for this child, and the Lord has granted me what I asked of him (1 Samuel 1:27, NIV).

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