On my seven-year journey to motherhood, my husband and I saw a reproductive endocrinologist (RE). Because I fell into that category the medical profession calls “advanced maternal age”, i.e., 35 years or older, and we had been trying to become pregnant for more than a year and a half, my OB suggested we see a fertility specialist. Years later I remembered something the RE said at one of our appointments and had to ask myself who was I going to listen to.
Our first appointment with the RE was all about the various infertility treatments and attendant costs. We left that appointment a bit overwhelmed but decided we would begin with intrauterine insemination (IUI). IUI was the least expensive option. Yes, we had to think about the expenses because our health insurance provided no coverage for infertility procedures or medications.
We had several cycles of IUI but to no avail. I must admit, after learning the first cycle did not result in a pregnancy, I was confused. I mean, the doc was inserting my husband’s freshly scrubbed sperm directly into my uterus. How could this not work?! Well, it didn’t. And it didn’t work the time after that nor the time after that. I was incredibly disappointed and so desperate to have a baby.
Feeling like we had exhausted the IUI route, we scheduled another appointment with our RE. I was 38 years old by this time. He urged us to seriously consider in vitro fertilization or IVF. And I distinctly remember him telling us to not come back to see him when I was 40—in other words, my chances of becoming pregnant at or after 40 were not good. We prayed about it and decided to do IVF. Bingo! We were finally pregnant! But at my 20-week appointment, we learned our baby had died in utero. We were devastated…heartbroken…in total shock. Even with such a gut-wrenching loss, I refused to accept that I would not have a baby. I remembered what the RE said that day in his office about not coming back to see him when I was 40 because, essentially, it would be too late then. I heard what he said, but I refused to listen to what he said. I entered my 40s still fighting for my fertility, in faith, finding encouragement from many Bible verses and believing God can do anything. A few years later, I became pregnant NATURALLY and had a healthy baby!
Someone else’s doubt does not have to become yours. While you may hear what they say, you do not have to listen to what they say. Are you being intentional about building your faith? Who are you listening to?
Find hope and inspiration to fight for your fertility, in faith, from my story SEVEN YEARS TO SYMONE: Finding Faith to Overcome Infertility and Have a Baby After 40.
